I decided that I better stop equivocating and just make the leap. I went ahead and purchased a round-trip ticket to Bangkok. Round-trip because it was cheaper than a one-way, not because I have any plans to return. I don’t. This is me, at 48 years old, finally spreading my wings and flying. At least I hope it’s going to be flying. Not tripping over the edge of the nest and flailing helplessly while bouncing off the rocky cliff wall like some of those hatchlings I’ve watched on Discovery Channel shows.
You may wonder what I mean when I say that I’m “finally” learning to fly at my age. It is true that I have lived as a grown man for most of my life now. I have been married and divorced. I have raised two children to adulthood. I have been employed and bought cars and houses. I have taken vacations, received jury summons and suffered prostate exams. But all of that was proscribed for me. It was assumed that I would do all of those things. I lived my life walking the path that was laid out for me by others’ expectations. And it was mostly ok, I thought. Being successful at doing what was expected was gratifying to me. But if asked what my personal dreams and aspirations were, I would be hard-pressed to give a cogent answer. I really didn’t know what I wanted, because I didn’t know anything different. That has dramatically changed in the past three years.
Before I begin telling my stories, past or current, I must first get myself into the habit of writing again. I’ve always loved the exercise of putting words to paper, or in this day and age, to the screen. The feel of the pencil between the fingers of my right hand or the gentle pressure it takes to push the keys of my laptop are both therapeutic. This is not my first attempt at blogging. I began one about three years ago. I got four stories in, and then let it slip away as springtime came and flowers bloomed and distractions took over my life. I hope to not let that happen this time. If I ever happen to find those four stories, I will repost them here, because they were an interesting snapshot of my life. But this first post is simply to get back into practice.